


lie, its all a lie, its all a lie (dont go, please dont go, please dont leave me)

by deobikyu



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lee Hwitaek | Hui-centric, Short, heart been broke moment 😿💔, im depressed its 12:23 am, im fucking freaking the fuck out over how i know all my friends fucking hate me, no fluff here just sad hui, s and t if u see this no u dont, self-projection, yea sorry unis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:13:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27707444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deobikyu/pseuds/deobikyu
Summary: he felt it.aka im fucking sobbint listening to daisy by pentagon and creep from superband at 12:30 am when i should be sleeping because ive never permanently had anyone 👍
Kudos: 4
Collections: hui vents





	lie, its all a lie, its all a lie (dont go, please dont go, please dont leave me)

**Author's Note:**

> heyyyy bestiesssss idk how long its been since ive posted but im tired and depressed snd fuck i hate it here

he felt it.  
the synth loudly in his ears- on the verge of too loud, yet hwitaek cant bring it in himself to lower the volume- too focused on trying to drown out the lingering feelings and thoughts to give a fuck about how much his future self will hate him for doing this.  
he felt it.  
the way his body took himself across the smooth dance practice floor; the wood against his feet almost too much, the pain of his lungs as he continued to burn them from the inside out as he tried- he tried he tried _he fucking tried so hard to drown everything out._  
every thought, every sense, every emotion- fuck it absolutely _everything_ just to stop feeling this way.  
he felt it.  
the way he was probably overreacting, the way the gears in his brain shifted in the back of his mind as if to comfort him and find a solution- yet he ignored it. he didnt _want_ to remember it. the way he felt alone, the way he fucking has his whole life, no matter how much he tried or who he met- it all ended the same anyways.  
so why was he still here?  
_he had nothing to live for._  
he finally found who he belonged with- or so he thought.  
he thought, until he didnt. until he heard it. the sound of disappointment. the sound of annoyance. the sound of disgust and repulsiveness in everything of their very tone.  
he felt it.  
the most hurtful pain of all.  
_the pain of being alone._  
he collapsed to the ground, knees clashing aggressively with the hard floor causing pain to shoot up his entire body; yet he couldnt bring himself to care.  
looking up he stared at himself in the mirror. when had he started crying? probably a while back, if the semi-dried tear stains that painted his face and the already hyperventilated sobs coming out of his body were anything to go by.  
he slumped forward, shoulders sagging and face falling as he felt himself shake more.  
he needed them- he fucking needed them so fucking bad but they never needed _him._  
he felt it.  
he felt the crushing realization come down on him, body finally giving up against the fatigue and pain and fully collapsing on the ground as hwitaek shriveled up on the dirty practice room floor.  
he needed them. he needed them to feel safe. they were his safe place, they knew him like nobody else did, they made him feel valid and happy and loved for fucks sake-  
but like everything, not all feelings are reciprocated.  
black danced on the edge of his vision, tears drowning his eyes as the distant sound of the ac playing became too loud. he became all too aware of how heavy he was breathing. he became all too aware of how utterly fucking shattered and broken and fucking terrible he felt.  
how, like all those before, they left.  
he had added himself into a groupchat that was already full.  
he had added himself into an equation that was already solved.  
he had joined too late.  
like all the others, they found each other, leaving without his name in mind. moving on, leaving him cold and alone once more.  
the room he was in was surely boiling- the closed confined space, his overexerting, his heavy breathing- he was sure of it  
yet he felt it.  
he felt how cold his heart was.  
freezing, below zero, as his vision slowly sparkled with dull blacks and greys until he passed out from exhaustion.  
and if none of the other boys noticed he was missing that day at practice, if none of them even thought of his name that morning when they were 8 instead of 9-  
then that was for hwitaek to worry about.  
he felt it.  
he felt the final wave of disappointment and sadness, the final breath of air, the final sob that escaped his mouth before it all faded to nothing.  
_he felt it all._

**Author's Note:**

> sorry hwitaek?????? i was listening to daisy snd halfwqy through an anxiety attack i needed to ease ng pain somehow buddy 😿😿😿 anywwys ily all kiss kiss even tho nobodys gonna read this


End file.
